INSPIRATION
Theirs
is not to make reply,
Theirs
is not to reason why,
Theirs
is but to cook and fie!
The Charge of The Kitchen
Brigade
Great orators inspire
with words, lifting the spirit of their audience. Great doers accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. We witness greatness
underway and want to join. It is a special kind of person that can move another
to reach and strive for a goal most say is unattainable. These acolytes will
gladly take the hit for Alice Kramden if it will get them to the moon.
A southern gentleman activated my saliva glands and made me want to
cook. I longed to taste food that would make my mouth water! I wanted to move
beyond being satisfied with food simply because it did not taste bad. Culinary
instructors laid the groundwork, Certified Sous Chefs gave hands on
instructions, and Certified Executive Chefs infused ingredients with matching
and or contrasting flavor profiles, each level leading higher! I learned and
practiced my craft.
Then I heard my new boss would be a “CERTIFIED MASTER CHEF”. At the time, there were only sixty-three people, in the world,
who held this certification. My sensory glands were alive with anticipation. I
would be truly blessed learning from such a person. He was even European and
spoke with a funny accent.
Ah, life is a cruel master and anticipation is NOT reality. Like
a child waiting for Christmas morning and not finding the ONE thing they
really, really, want; life in the kitchen proves fantasies are just that.
“ You guys can’t cook because your palettes suck "! This statement is my clearest memory from my time working for this
person. I was hoping to gain insight into the magic of food, seasoning
combinations and preparation techniques. This chef had just left a position at
a culinary school, so I expected a teacher experienced in motivating and
inspiring a group. Instead I was panning for gold, toiling for hours, searching
for illumination amid the muck rolling down hill.
I did discover valuable information and the brigade would debate
the merits and faults of each. For a time, we would ask Chef for clarification but
this would usually produce a look of disdain. He would then intone; “ If I
told you it was ‘xyz’ would it make any difference ”? This private
rebuke wasn’t as bad as the public slights. When theses discussions arose, Chef
might look at an individual and ask aloud; “ If I asked Mike what ‘xyz’ is, do you think
he would know ”? Yes, public humiliation is a “positive”
motivational tool.
Chef’s prep area was in the middle of the kitchen where all could
see him work. At times he would be assisted by other cooks. It was pointed out
to me, by a “Certified Sous Chef”, that only those hired by “Master Chef” assisted
him. It wasn’t until I saw an intern at his table that I realized a group of
experienced professionals would not be granted access. We could work, sweat,
and watch from behind the line but we were not part of “Master Chef’s” Praetorian
Guard. After experiencing this, we were told in staff meetings by Chef that; I do
not have favorites. His actions had spoken so loudly, the words could
not be heard.
Then a new menu was implemented and I was instructed how to cook
“my” dishes. Much later I discovered a packet that the servers were given. It
contained pictures, description, ingredients, and cooking methods of each dish.
Why weren’t the cooks given this? We had an interest, knowledge, and the
ability to improve ourselves with this information. Management had exhorted the
brigade to educate themselves on their time but did not consider them
while helping the servers. This action only added to the “Front of House” vs.
“Back of House” battle. How do you regard someone highly whose actions only
show disregard?
What’s the difference between parsley and cilantro? These green
herbs with similar shaped leaves at the end of thin green stalks are commonly
found in a kitchen. Master Chef stopped when he heard the conversation, laughed,
scoffed, waited, and then explained the difference. No one was
listening because all they heard was the laugh.
An employer should treasure an employee, who actively seeks to
expand his knowledge. A person courageous enough, to ask for help, and seek the
knowledge of others should be embraced and encouraged. They can be nurtured to
achieve great things. Unfortunately, I have too often heard in the kitchen; “You
are on a Need To Know Basis.” Why try to increase your knowledge and
become a more productive member of the staff when this is what management
spews? Could there be a better way in instill a “can do” attitude in
staff? Is this what makes an
“overachiever”.
No one can do or see everything. An experienced staff can save a
teammate. Anyone arrogant enough to think otherwise will continually ask why he
is the only one performing the small tasks. When extra effort, misguided or
not, is greeted by a howling wind of; “Did I tell you to do that?” or its
cousin; “Do you know how much that costs"? that extra effort is soon
swept off the floor with the day’s other discarded items.
A sauce is burning on the stove and the two people working two
feet away somehow do not notice, the oven timer is turned off but the product
is left in the oven to overcook, but energy is found to turn off the dripping
water defrosting proteins. Staff soon learns if there is no reward for common
sense, then it stays in their locker. When extra effort is rewarded with a
shout, there is no more extra. And the shouter wonders how no one could notice
what is going wrong.
“How do you like me now?” This
was the favorite refrain of one sous chef, who took pleasure in getting staff
to do mundane and unnecessary manual tasks. He would gloat and enjoy others
misery when he was “managing”. The
time always came when he needed cooperation and extra effort from those he had
abused and the response, although not always verbalized, was always the same; “ I won’t do that for HIM ”.
One guy had a habit of telling his co-workers what was being done
wrong and why. He saw his mission as education and inspiration. Staff efficiency
could be increased if these younger people gained some “kitchen sense”. Of course his oratory was considered a
“rant” to be endured while in his proximity. Thus enlightened he would cajole
his audience with; “ I
don’t rant…. I inspire ”.
I am surprised that some MBA is not making money off these
sayings. They could be printed on a laminated poster and hung in a dim hallway
next to the minimum wage and OSHA posters!
Kitchens are mostly staffed with the male of the species and
management acts accordingly. Screaming is largely accepted and chefs can
challenge the Brigade’s machismo, “ Act like you got a pair ”. They
fully expect a testosterone-fueled reaction that accomplishes management’s
objective. Reasoning and logic are tertiary methods to be used if the sonic
onslaught and heaping piles of fecal matter are ineffective.
I owe, I owe, its off to work I go.
Into THE
CAULDRON!
“The difficult we do,
The impossible
takes a little longer!”
Is tuisce deoch na scal
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