THE CHRONICLER OF THE KITCHEN April 2009
Mike Campbell
USED CAR SALESMEN
“This business grows assholes: it’s our principal export.”
Anthony Bourdain – Kitchen Confidential
Page 293
Restaurant owners, managers, and chefs want what they want and they want it now. It doesn’t have to make sense.
ITEM #1
I once worked at a club with two kitchens, each serving different dining rooms. The main kitchen was closed two days a week while the other was open all week. However, the members always wanted to eat in the main room, since it had easy access to the porch. Management had many options for handling this situation: they could say no, they could move the smaller staff to the main kitchen and serve the casual menu, or the casual menu could be prepared in their kitchen and let the servers walk. These would have been reasonable options to a difficult situation. So what did management decide? Each week every food item from the small kitchen was moved to the main kitchen. As a result, the casual menu was served from the main kitchen to the main dining room. Two days later everything was moved back! The people who made this decision, were also the ones who whined about payroll costs.
ITEM #2
One place remodeled the kitchen and replaced everything. The big selling point was the “new” kitchen would be air-conditioned. During construction, someone noticed there were no air ducts in the front of the kitchen. There was one vent in the back over the pot sink. However, a wall separated this area from the front.
All the windows on one side of the kitchen were enclosed, leaving three windows on the opposite side. Only one of these windows had a screen. It was not however, the window that was less than ten feet form the trash dumpster. During the next summer, portable air conditioning units were installed in the front part of the kitchen. Meanwhile, the potwasher was wearing a sweatshirt, since the lone air conditioning vent was blowing directly on his back.
We were told that “top people” designed this kitchen and we would love working there.
ITEM #3
Once during construction, the exhaust fans were disconnected so a new unit could be installed. No provision was made for the absence of a fan and we were expected to carry on as usual. This kitchen was hot in the best of times, and the lack of exhaust pushed it to the extreme.
The heat was unbearable. Smoke from the grill was everywhere. Frying one hamburger would fill the kitchen with smoke, which would eventually drift into the dining room.
Cleaning the grill at the end of the night was sheer torture. Grease cutter hitting a hot grill produces an immediate cloud of acrid smoke. I have performed this chore many times and I never thought of the smell because the exhaust fans pull the smoke out within a few seconds. Without the exhaust fan it was like mustard gas exploding in a World War I trench. It mushroomed above the grill and then slowly spread throughout the room. You had two choices, be a hero and gag as the smoke attacked your throat or leave the room.
Was management concerned about the well being of their kitchen staff and servers? The only comment I heard was: “don’t let the smoke get into the dining room”. Thus we were taught a golden rule: second hand smoke does not exist in the restaurant business.
After repeated complaints, we were told that the fans were fixed. We still complained, and were looked down on. Then the contractor realized that the fan was installed backwards. We still complained and management was angry. They were doing all they could and we were wrong anyway and their contractors knew what they were doing. Then it was discovered, that the contractor miscalculated the size of the fan that was needed and had installed a unit that was too small for the room.
ITEM #4
One time the kitchen was under construction, there was no air conditioning, no fans and no windows. It was early summer and the temperature for next few days was forecasted to reach the nineties. I asked a manager what was being done so I wouldn’t pass out in the coming days? Somehow I showed that I was not impressed with the number of e-mails he had sent to the contractor and was told: “maybe you should take off your apron and go home”. How did I ever think to question a manager? He was probably invoking the “Divine Right of Kings”. As Shakespeare put it: “must I be flouted thus, by dunghill grooms?” How dare an underling, do anything but acquiesce to his judgment.
ITEM #5
Most professional kitchen floors are made of square tiles. These are hard surfaces designed for easy cleaning. But titles crack and the grout between them can accumulate grease and grime over time. One place I worked had a bad floor. The floor had sunk in spots, tiles were cracked, and grease had built up. I learned that mosquitoes thrive in such an environment; the greasy floor was the perfect place for them to breed. If this occurred during the summer, it would be understandable, but the flies thrived all winter long. This was the only place where I had to fight flies in February.
ITEM #6
This same place also did not do a very good job of cleaning their soda machines. The sugar is a magnet for fruit flies. Its not a good feeling when you see a cloud circling around a soda machine you want to use.
ITEM #7
This kitchen had doors leading to the dining room, that we would open to lower the temperature. Management insisted that the doors stayed closed. They were not worried about the unbearable heat of the kitchen or customers looking into the kitchen. Management did not want the flies in the dining room.
ITEM #8
While attending culinary school, I was an intern at a small restaurant. I was working the cold side and was responsible for one other guy who was hired after me. I was teaching this person and held accountable for his work. I found out that he was being paid more than me. When I confronted the chef, his first response was that I was an intern and he thought I would be leaving soon. Then he said there should have been an adjustment. I was good enough to teach the job but was not worth as much money as my subordinate.
ITEM #9
I was scheduled to work to eleven o’clock one night. The chef tells me the hood cleaners are coming later so make sure everything is covered. Around ten o’clock the cleaners arrive and want to start. I inform them that they can get on the line when I am done at eleven o’clock. The next day the general manager says: “ I hear you chased the cleaners away last night”.
The chef made my schedule, knew the cleaners were coming, did not tell me to leave early, and somehow I was responsible for the wasted time of the cleaners.
ITEM #10
I took a job that was to have company paid health benefits, after ninety days of employment. It is common practice for companies to pay about 75% to 80% of this benefit. I should have asked this question directly but I did not. After two months, I approached one of the co-owner because I haven’t received any booklets or enrollment forms. I wait. I remind him. I wait. Ninety days is up and I start looking for another job. Then I am told that the company pays 25% of health benefits. After I give notice, another co-owner tells me I look upset and asks why I am leaving.
ITEM #11
A co-owner tells his cook to work the next day but it is his day off and they argue. Finally, the cook agrees to work the next day. Early the next day, he receives a phone call that his services are no longer needed.
How could any reasonable person question any of these decisions?
The stereotypical used car salesman is loud and arrogant, both in dress and demeanor. They are like Machiavelli in a plaid jacket, (plaid jacket, checked pants it all the same). They will say anything to achieve their goals.
Some of the stories above I have experienced, others were told to me by those who lived them. Used car salesmen are not the only type of restaurant manager, but they are numerous and roam freely in the hospitality industry.
I owe, I owe, its off to work I go.
Into THE CAULDRON!
Is tuisce deoch na sceal
No comments:
Post a Comment