Chapter 12 : Madness

THE CHRONICLER OF THE KITCHEN                                               July 2009

Mike Campbell

METHOD or MADNESS?

ALL KITCHENS ARE F###--ED UP! ITS JUST A MATTER OF HOW F###--ED UP!
 A sous chef passed on these words of wisdom after a brief mind numbing chat with our boss.

All owners, general managers, and Executive Chefs are constantly bemoaning the difficulty of finding and maintaining “good staff”. I have heard this in every hospitality establishment that I have ever encountered. Management will wring their hands and talk endlessly about their efforts to attract and find “good people”, but they somehow always miss the obvious.

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!

If you paid your cooks a living wage, you could attract and maintain a talented staff. Why do they think so many cooks work two jobs? Time and time again I have heard kitchen staff ask the new guy: “is this your only job?”

Cooks do not get paid a living wage. They live from paycheck to paycheck. Not only can’t we afford to eat at the restaurants where we work, if it wasn’t for the free “staff meal” we would be hungry. Not until you become a Sous Chef will you make any kind of money.

This situation fosters a transient lifestyle. Most cooks have worked at many places. There is no such thing as loyalty. An owner will push you out the door in an instant. And the corollary is also true. Staff will leave at the drop of a hat; there is always another place around the corner that will employ you at the same crappy payrate.

Unless you work in the corporate arena, you probably will not receive benefits as part of employment. You are not entitled to company paid health care, dental, retirement, vacation, holidays, or sick time. Is it any wonder the turnover rate is astronomical? I once arrived for my dinner shift to discover the entire morning crew had quit. They walked off the job because management had angered one person.

Chefs are hired because they can cook not because they are entrepreneurs, managers, or inspirational leaders. They are trained cooks, not trained managers. As a result, most chefs will run their kitchen the same way as their mentors.

 In culinary school, I received one basic management course and one basic leadership course. Therefore, most culinary school graduates, especially young ones, are woefully prepared for anything but cooking.

How do you increase sales, lower expenses and overhead? Do they even know what overhead is? How do you find and maintain customers? How do you attract and maintain staff? How do you inspire and lead a team? How do you build a team? Do you have a vision? How do you get your staff to follow your vision? How do you create, maintain, and reward loyalty? How do you treat people? Why are dishwashers so important?

Most of these issues are not taught in culinary school and are not talked about in “the real world”. Generally, the closest a chef will get to discussing these topics is when he screams; do you know how much that costs?

Most chefs are authoritarian, especially Europeans. They expect things to be done because they say so. Teaching and reasoning is not always forthcoming. As a result, many cooks will do things a certain way because that’s the way the Chef wants it. They are usually ignorant of the “big picture” going on around them.

Many times information is dispensed in a “need to know” basis. You may be told: Chef wants vegetables for three hundred, therefore you get it done. You don’t need to know how many parties this will handle or what day the parties are, or what time the parties are! You also do not know how this will impact your co-workers.

Maybe this order refers to three parties, but there is a fourth party that needs the same vegetable or the cold side needs the same item blanched for a salad. Usually the cook just does what he is told. Teamwork is not always in the lexicon of the kitchen.

The system would make Charles Darwin proud, its survival of the fittest. You mostly work with blinders on, getting your work done. Its not maliciously stepping on others on the ladder of success, but the result is much the same. There is an intense focus on self and if something gets in your way you keep going. You do not stop! Any obstacle is brushed aside, conquered, or bypassed.

Cooks will get their prep done, they will stock their station and they will be ready when service starts. Did they do anything to hinder a co-worker? Did they do anything to help a co-worker? Were they part of a team? Did the team achieve their goals? These questions are rarely asked. But you will always hear a cook say; “ I’m ready”.

Kitchen staffers will work very hard to do their jobs. If you ever see them in action, you’ll see a determined and fast moving bunch. They get their job done.

This is quite noticeable in how people move. Cooks walk fast, its kitchen speed. We shift gears when we are under a deadline. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line and that’s the road we travel. If you want to BS, we’ll listen, but we are not stopping. This is how we are trained and this is how we are judged. The chef will only ask you about your job. It is extremely rare that a chef will ask how your actions affected those around you.

Being a mid-life career changer I was shocked by the attitude of your typical “kitchen lifer”.  I often think that if someone dropped dead in a kitchen, the staff would simply walk over the corpse because; “cleaning up dead bodies is not part of my station”.

I owe, I owe, its off to work I go.

Into THE CAULDRON!        

Is tuisce deoch na sceal